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The lead singer should really stick to the part where he sings and not come right up to me. I’m the guitar player, and I know that this is pretty much standard rock-and-roll practice, but it is distracting. It is hindering my ability to perform my guitar-playing duties.

Because it isn’t like I was ever, like, into dancing—like having this really intense moment where the singer is half an inch from my nose and we’re both doing the same thing, like we’re Rockettes.

I am more about looking down at the ground and thinking about trying not to mess up. And hoping really hard that I am not about to mess up. It’s hard!

I play these arpeggios where I’m—woosh—all over the frets!

All over! And then you have this jackass with bad breath right in your face.

The lead singer should brush his teeth, but that’s neither here nor there.

Also, I am a guitar player. I am a guitar player because I like to stay in my room and play guitar. All the time. Pretty much from, like, age 10 till, like, five minutes ago.